Summary: When life gets in the way of developing a relationship with someone special how do you overcome fear of rejection to seize every moment before it might be too late? An entry for the Love, Actually O/S contest.
*~Present Day~*
I slipped the pale pink dress slowly over my white legs, briefly making a mental note to find a way to look less dead. I smiled, remembering back to the day when I first wore this dress, while I slid my feet into the baby pink peep toe heels and fastened the simple gold chain around my neck, adjusting the cross pendant.
There was a soft knock on my door, and my little sister, Alice, walked into my room. Alice was little in every sense of the word and in every way, except personality. She stood at four foot eleven inches and had her mousy brown hair tucked up on top of her head in soft curls and messy braids. Her blue-grey eyes danced with a mixture of excitement and mischief as she approached.
"Alice, I swear, if you are here to cause trouble, you are definitely in the wrong room," I said as I added the finishing touches to my reddish-brown hair.
"Awe, Bells, when have I ever caused trouble for you?" she asked, sounding hurt until I raised an eyebrow, and we both fell into a fit of giggles.
When the fit subsided, Alice took my hand, dragging me through the door and down the stairs to where my party was taking place.
*~2002~*
I walked into the large building, made of white siding and red bricks, with Alice, Emmett, Sue and Charlie after being dragged out of bed at some ungodly hour. My hands nervously fidgeted with the hem of the sweater I wore over the pale flowered Sax 5th avenue dress I had picked out before going to stay with Renee for the weekend. We found a pew a few rows from the front and sat down, waiting for the service to start.
I looked around, taking in the sights and sounds of the building. The pews were a dark brown wood with a red seat cushion. The wood was smooth and cool as I ran my hands across it. Somewhere in the large sanctuary, heels clicked on the light oak floor, stopping as they encountered the plush red carpet that ran down around the pews. I looked toward the front, where the choir was taking their seats, startled as a family sat in front of us suddenly. A boy about my age, maybe a year older than I was, caught my attention. His sandy blond hair was cut short and stood in disarray, making me wonder if he had just rolled out of bed.
As the service progressed, the children in the congregation were asked to come down to go to Sunday school, and with some prodding from Charlie and Sue, the three of us followed the sandy blond and the other children out of the sanctuary and upstairs. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was supposed to go, and jumped slightly when I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"Hi, I'm Jasper," he said, holding out his other hand to me. "You look a little lost, do you need help finding your classroom?" he asked, his honey voice soothing any remaining nerves I had.
I murmured my thanks and followed him to a room down the hall marked seventh through ninth grade. In that hour, I learned more about myself from a stranger than I had in the twelve years I had been around. He showed me I could be impatient and confusing but also trusting and energetic when it came to defending something I believed in.
*~2004~*
"I don't want to, and I don't need help; I can figure it out on my own," I said, putting my plate down roughly on the table as my family and I sat down to eat at the weekly community supper.
"Isabella, you obviously can't figure it out yourself; you are failing pre-calculus," Sue said as she sat down next to Charlie.
I huffed and shoved a fork full of salad in my mouth, ignoring the fact that they were right. Jasper and his family walked in as Sue was continuing her rant about my inability to follow simple steps, causing me to tune everything out and smile.
"Isabella!" Charlie said, catching my attention again.
"Wha…" I answered still keeping my eyes on Jasper as he moved around the room.
"Why don't you go ask Jasper for help? He's a smart boy, and I'm sure he has passed the class already," Charlie suggested as soon as I took a sip from my drink, causing me to spit it across the table.
"You okay there, kiddo?" Charlie asked, smiling.
"Totally, I think I just found a bone in my water, though," I said coughing as the rest of the family laughed.
The rest of the meal was filled with laughter, and soon it was time to clean up and head back to the pile of homework we'd left on the living room floor. As we were walking out, my parents couldn't leave well enough alone and made a point to mention to Jasper as we were leaving that I was having trouble in math. I did the normal teenage thing- waving as I put my head down and kept walking to the car ahead of the rest of them.
The next morning, I took my math books out and found a quiet corner of the library so I could attempt to finish the homework I was assigned. I had worked my way through half a problem when a Calculus textbook was dropped in front of me. I looked up before rolling my eyes and looking back down at the problem as I threw my pencil.
"Hey, midget, how's it going?" Jasper asked as he sat down across from me.
"How does it look like it's going?" I said, glaring at him playfully before slamming my head down on the book.
"Well, right now I'd say you just successfully almost gave yourself a concussion and haven't finished a problem," he said as he placed my pencil back on the table.
I rolled my eyes and went back to staring at the problem in front of me, picking up the pencil and dropping it again when I couldn't figure out where to go next.
"Do you need help?" Jasper asked, sliding the book around so he could see the problem.
"If you don't mind," I said, dropping my line of sight from his eyes to the table in front of him.
"Hey," he said as he gently lifted my chin, "it's okay to ask for help when you need it."
Jasper patiently walked me through the rest of the assignment before classes started and made plans to meet later that night to go over anything new learned in class.
*~2006~*
It was the Friday before Prom, and the school was buzzing with excitement, and Jasper and I had rolled our eyes at the whole idea of it. As the day wore on, I started to understand the excitement, and Angela only fueled the growing anticipation when she began discussing dresses with me at lunch. As I walked out to the courtyard and the parking lot at the end of the day, I found Jasper sitting on a low retaining wall in his bright yellow track jacket.
Walking as quietly as I could, I placed my hands over his eyes. "Guess who."
I could feel his smile spread across his face as he pulled my hands down. "Hi, midget."
I moved to sit next to him, sighing. "How'd you know it was me?"
"After all this time, it isn't hard for me to identify you. You aren't the most graceful or quiet person I've had the pleasure of meeting," he said with a laugh.
"That's not…" I said, pausing mid-sentence as my ex walked over to us.
"Hi, Bella," Tyler said as he sat down next to us.
Jasper and I shared a look as we readjusted the way we were sitting so Tyler was no longer sitting on top of me-Jasper's look telling me to behave and mine asking if I really had to. I could have laughed when we finally settled, there was about two feet between Tyler and I while I was almost sitting in Jasper's lap. Ignoring the look I got from Tyler, I turned to Jasper, determined to get the answer I wanted to the question I was about to ask.
"Hey, Jasper, are you doing anything tomorrow night?"
Jasper looked from Tyler to me before answering, "I don't think so, why?"
"Oh, well I was wondering if you'd be interested in maybe checking out Prom with me. Angela was making it sound like fun when we were talking at lunch today," I said nonchalantly, watching my classmates as they went their separate ways.
"Um, sure if that's something you want to do, I guess I could go along to keep you out of trouble," Jasper said, adding a chuckle as he thought of all the trouble I could get into on my own, most of it including the emergency room no doubt.
Tyler scoffed as he reached for his bag, and I had to say something, there was only so much I could take from him today, and he had already met his quota this morning. "What is the problem Tyler?"
"When I asked you to Prom, you told me it wasn't your thing, but now you're willing to go with him," he said incredulously. "That's okay, I see how it is. I bet you never even wanted to go out with me or really meant it when you said you loved me."
I stood up and pulled my hand back to haul off and smack him like I wanted to and stopped, surprised when I felt resistance. I turned around and pleaded to Jasper with my eyes, hoping he'd understand how badly I needed to do this. He took a step closer, seeing I was no longer feeling decidedly violent and wrapped his arms around my waist, over my own arms.
He leaned forward, placing his jaw on my shoulder and whispered, "He's not worth it, midget. Come on, let's go, I'm sure Esme's waiting for us at the church."
With one last anger filled look at Tyler, I picked up my backpack and followed after Jasper as he made his way to the metallic blue 1997 Chevrolet Camaro his parents had bought him as a gift for doing so well on his driver's test and keeping his grades up during track and cross country. I sank into the passenger's seat and sighed, turning to lean against the door when Jasper had started out of the parking lot.
"Why didn't you let me hit him? I mean, really, after the scene he caused this morning and all the crap he has put me through…" I sighed. "I just want to hit him once, I promise."
Jasper shook his head, placing his hand on my knee. "I was not about to let you punch him in front of the principle. I'm pretty sure they have a rule about not being able to go to Prom if you're suspended from school. I'll let you hit him this weekend if we see him, okay? Or I may just do it myself."
I smiled, relaxing into the door as Jasper drove us from the school to the church where we were meeting the rest of the youth group to help Esme set up for the community supper before my weekly tutoring session. Jasper drove me home after we were finished, promising to pick me up at two the next afternoon to take me out to do something fun before heading to Prom. I pulled a light green halter dress out of the closet Alice and I shared before climbing into bed.
When Jasper picked me up, he was dressed in a pair of old cut off shorts and an old track competition tee. I put my dress in the back seat, grateful I hadn't changed out of my favorite pair of cut off daisy-dukes and favorite well-washed tee.
I turned to him as I sat in the passenger seat, practically buzzing with excitement. "So, are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked, sounding like a five-year-old that couldn't figure out their surprise.
"No, silly, that would ruin the surprise," he said chuckling at my impatience.
I pouted the entire ride, still trying to get him to give me a clue but nothing I tried seemed to work. I knew we were close to our destination when Jasper pulled off to the side of the road and pulled a blindfold out of the glove compartment. I looked at him incredulously.
"Do you trust me?" he asked, holding one had out while the other continued to hold the blindfold.
"Oh, now you're quoting classic Disney movies to me?" I chuckled, taking the blindfold and tying it around my head. "You are not going to make me fall or walk into anything, right?" I asked as he pulled back on to the road.
"I promise, midget. You will not fall or walk into anything tonight," he said as he took my hand in his, resting them on the center console.
When he took the blindfold off, we were at Mel's Funway Park, and he had paid for a round of mini golf for the two of us. He beat me horribly, like, not even close to being able to catch him. It was a lot of fun, and we made plans to get together before finals the following weekend to do it again. When we had returned everything and paid for our ice cream, he drove us to the banquet hall where prom was being held. The celling was covered in white gauze and silver stars while the tables were covered in black and white linens and gold candles. I looked around in amazement while Jasper and I waited for the rest of our friends to arrive. I leaned back into his chest when his arms wrapped around my waist, enjoying the comfort and peace he provided.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked, tightening his grip as I lost my balance briefly.
"I am, thank you for coming with me and for the mini golf earlier. I'm glad I asked you and didn't agree to go with Tyler just because I felt I had to," I said, resting my head on his chest.
~*Present Day*~
I entered the living room where our friends and family had gathered, all awaiting Jasper's return. They had been my rock and sanity, keeping me together while he was across the country. I didn't know when he made the decision, but one day, ten months ago, he came home and told me he had enlisted for the Marines and was leaving for Boot Camp. I cried and asked him to stay but couldn't convince either of us that I wanted him to stay for more than my own selfish need to have him close. I stood by his decision, because, honestly, what else could I have done?, I had been in love with him for years and couldn't stand to see our friendship end because we couldn't agree to disagree about one point. I wrote to him faithfully every week he was away and waited with baited breath for his responses.
When he told me he'd be home for a couple of weeks, I immediately enlisted Alice's help to plan a welcome home party he wouldn't forget. As I stood in the doorway looking at everyone who had shown up to support the courageous man we had all come to love in our own way, I couldn't help but get excited and start counting the seconds until he came through the front door. I must have been lost in my own thoughts because the next thing I knew, a pair of strong arms had wrapped around my waist, and I was spinning through the air.
When my feet connected with the ground again, I spun around, losing my balance in the process and threw my arms around Jasper's neck. "Welcome home!" I exclaimed, tightening my grip for effect.
"Thank you, midget." He chuckled. "If I had known this was the welcome home I was going to get, I would have left before."
"Don't ever do that to me again, Jasper Whitlock," I said, my face reflecting how serious I was.
"As you wish," he replied, placing a tender kiss on my forehead.
My face light up as a smile spread across my face, and I came back to the reality where we weren't the only two in the room. I gave him another tight hug before moving away so other people could say hello and so I could pretend I was good at playing hostess. The party winded down after several hours spent catching up with friends we hadn't seen since high school and playing games, some involving shots of the adult variety. When it was quiet again and I could enjoy the peacefulness that came with the location of my parents' house, Jasper took my hand and led me through the upstairs and on to the roof through my childhood bedroom window.
We sat there, looking at the stars and talking about everything we had been up to since he was home last in December and where we saw ourselves in five years, enjoying the smell of fresh cut grass, lilacs and each others company. I leaned into his shoulder and looked up at him, taking in his silhouette against the moon, relishing in the way we could communicate without saying anything.
"I love you," I whispered, hoping that he heard me and at the same time hoping he didn't.
"I love you, too," Jasper whispered as he pulled me into his lap and stared into my eyes, keeping my attention effortlessly.
I smiled and leaned my forehead against his. "Are you going to kiss me or not?"
Jasper tilted his head forward painfully slowly until our lips just barely brushed against each other. I closed my eyes, deciding to rely on my sense of touch, smell and sound to paint this picture on the canvas of my memory, and waited for the moment I had dreamed about to actually happen. When our lips connected, it was like everything finally fell into place and all was right in the world. Slowly opening my eyes, I looked at Jasper and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I sarcastically said, "Well it took you long enough to decipher the clues I left for you."
Jasper laughed and pulled me closer to him as we continued to sit there and appreciate everything we had in life and how we got to where we were.
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